


Texting my fellow smashers.

by SHSL_Imp



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: As in Crazy Hand and Master Core, Because romance, F/F, F/M, Galeem and Dharkon are siblings, Help me i love danganronpa too much, Humor, I Did That, I made them siblings, Joker now has a bf, Look to the relationship tags i added some, Louie Charlie and Britanny get mentions, M/M, Master Hand created this chat for reasons unexplained, Master Hand has brothers, Master Hand is done with Crazy Hand's crap, Me trying to include all the characters but failing, Mentions of Pikmin, Mentions of past villains in the following games, Mewtwo just wants to sleep, Oddessy BOTW Kirby Persona 5, Oh i forgot to mention this, Oh wow i need to update these, Pit texts everyone in the middle of the night, Please Don't Hate Me, Please stay away if you don't like that, Post True Ending of WOL, Post WoL, References to Depression, References to events in BOTW, References to events in Kirby, References to events in Oddessy, References to events in Uprising, Shuichi Kokichi Kaito Kaede and Maki will make guest appearances later because why not, There's a lot of cussing, They are also the cousins of Master Crazy and Core, Uhhh what am i forgetting, Warning:, Yes i will be including danganronpa stuff later, Yes theyre all in one, Yes yes i gave you crack ships and rare pairs, Yes you heard me right, all of them - Freeform, and alot of others, daily chaos, human!AU, right - Freeform, uhh ok, yep, youre welcome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 01:59:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 5,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19189606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SHSL_Imp/pseuds/SHSL_Imp
Summary: Master Hand creates a chat for the Smashers to keep them busy.What he didn't expect was the absolute chaos that came with it.Now with added chaos due to Galeem and Dharkon getting released from Potato Sack prison.





	1. Chat 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how good this is.
> 
> It's probably bad, I dunno.

**Master Hand has created the chat**

 

**Master Hand has added Mario, Link, and 72 others**

 

Master Hand: Have fun.

 

**Master Hand has left the chat**

 

Mario: Wth is this

 

Link: I think Master Hand opened a chat for us.

 

Inkling: Oh, I can talk now!!!

 

Zelda: Yay! Now I can see what link says!

 

Mario: How can you all type so well already

 

Link: It's not that hard

 

Sonic: Omgthisissocool

 

Link: Does Sonic know that the space bar exists?

 

Zelda: Sonic, try hitting the big bar at the end of your keyboard.

 

Sonic: oh, this is much better

 

Fox: Guys, it's 8:00 in the morning.

 

Mario: And

 

Fox: Go to sleep

 

Zelda: We aren't as old as you

 

Fox: True, your Link is 100 years older than me

 

Link: Hell, that's true

 

Ganondorf: What the hell

 

Link: OH MY FUCKING GOD IMMA KILL YOU

 

Ganondorf: What's his problem

 

Zelda: He thinks your the Ganon from his universe.

 

Ganondorf: Oh

Link: Bitch you better be hiding, because i'm coming for you

 

Ganondorf: Shit

 

**Ganondorf has left the chat**

 

Link: OH NO YOU DON'T

 

**Link has left the chat**

 

Pit: What's going on?

 

Mario: Scroll up

 

Pit: Okay

 

Pit: Oh

 

Pikachu: Pi

 

Mario: This isn't even half the roster

Joker: Jesus Fuck stop texting and let me sleep

 

\--------

 

**Private chat**

 

Master Hand: This is going to be great

 

Master Core: I think this is going to be terrible.

 

Crazy Hand: I agree with Core

 

Master Hand: Have some faith in me, brothers.

 

Master Core: My faith in you ran out when you thought it was a good idea to have a welcome party for Joker.

 

Master Core: The kids got drunk.

 

Master Hand: That was one time, dammit

 

Crazy Hand: They had killer hangovers.

 

Crazy Hand: Snake threatened to break my fingers if that happened again.

 

Master Hand: It'll be fineeeeeee

 

Master Core: Fucking hell, Master. It won't be fine. Just wait.

 

Master Core: I'm already preparing for the backlash.


	2. Chat 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pit is texting everyone at 3 in the morning.
> 
> Mewtwo just really wants to sleep, but this angel won't let him.

**Private Chat**

 

Master Hand: There's chaos

 

Master Core: What the fuck did you expect?

 

Master Core: Total peace and unity? Hell no.

 

Crazy Hand: What kind of chaos?

 

Master Hand: The type of chaos that isn't welcome in here.

 

Master Hand: Mewtwo is sending complaints of someone texting him at 3 in the morning

 

Master Core: I bet you twenty bucks it's Pit.

 

Crazy Hand: How do you know?

 

Master Core: Because it sounds like something Pit would do.

 

Master Core: I'll go see what's happening.

\-----  
**Before**

**Public Chat**

 

Pit: Hellooooooooo

 

Mewtwo: Pit.

 

Pit: Oh, you're online!

 

Mewtwo: Shut off you phone, and go to sleep.

 

Mewtwo: Not to mention you have a match tomorrow.

 

Pit: But i'm not tired

 

Mewtwo: And I am. Go to sleep.

 

Pit: What are you? A light sleeper?

 

Mewtwo: I'm exactly that.

 

Pit: Okay

 

Pit: Are you still here?

 

Pit: Mewtwooooo

 

Mewtwo: Oh my Arceus, Pit. Go to bed.

 

Pit: Who's that?

 

Mewtwo: It's the god of all-THAT"S NOT THE POINT!

 

Pit: Oh, it isn't?

 

Mewtwo: Do you know what time it is?

 

Pit: 3 in the morning.

 

Mewtwo: Yes.

 

Mewtwo: SO WHY ARE YOU TEXTING

 

Pit: I can't sleep, and i'm bored.

 

Mewtwo: Fuck this.

 

**Mewtwo has left the chat**

\-----

**Private Chat**

 

Mewtwo: Master Hand, we have a problem.

 

Master Hand: It's probably you texting me at 3 in the fucking morning

 

Mewtwo: Pit won't stop texting the entire mansion.

 

Master Hand: Oh

 

Master Hand: I'll see what I can do.

 

\-----  
**Present**  
\-----

 

Pit: You're back.

 

Mewtwo: Omfg you're still here?!

 

**Master Core has entered the chat**

 

Master Core: What the hell is going on here?

 

Mewtwo: Scroll up.

 

Master Core: Okay...

 

Master Core: O h

 

Master Core: Pit.

 

Pit: Yes?

 

Master Core: If you don't do to sleep right now, i'll personally go into your room, and hurl you into the Master Fortress for a week.

 

Master Core: Understand?

 

**Pit has left the chat**

 

Mewtwo: Thank Arceus.

 

Master Core: Go to sleep.

 

**Master Core has left the chat**

 

\------

 

**Private Chat**

 

Master Core: Crisis averted.

 

Master Hand: Bless your skills, brother.

 

Crazy Hand: What about me?

 

Master Hand: You've done dogshit today.

 

Master Hand: Goodnight.

 

Master Core: Night.

 

Crazy Hand: Wait, guys

 

Master Core: What?

 

Crazy Hand: I helped, right?

 

Master Core: Did you NOT just hear what Master said?

 

Crazy Hand: I heard everything

 

Master Core: Go to fucking sleep.


	3. Chat 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marth: Who's sending me pictures of me and Ike?
> 
> Robin: Me.
> 
> Marth: Robin, why?
> 
> Robin: Because you two are cute together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have Male Robin and Male Corrin.
> 
> Just so you don't get confused.

Marth: I have something to tell you guys.

 

Robin: Shoot.

 

Ike: What is it?

 

Marth: I

 

Marth: Wait a minute

 

Marth: Someone's sending me photots

 

Ike: Of who?

 

Marth: Uh

 

Robin: Tell us.

 

Marth: Hold on a minute.

 

**Marth has added Lucina, Corrin, Roy and Chrom to the chat.**

 

Marth: Okay, everyone's here.

 

Roy: Marth, why did you add me?

 

Lucina: Omg the hero king added meeeeeeee

 

Chrom: Lucina, calm down.

 

Marth: Someone's sending me photo's.

 

Robin: We know.

 

Robin: Where's Corn?

 

Corrin: I don't know how to type on here.....

 

Robin: Bullshit.

 

Marth: Back to the topic on hand.

 

Marth: I'm kind of worried about this persons taste.

 

Corrin: Why?

 

Marth: It's photo's of me and Ike

 

Ike: What the shit.

 

Marth: Okay

 

Marth: Who's sending me pictures of me and Ike?

 

Robin: Me.

 

Marth: Robin, why

 

Robin: Because you two are cute.

 

Marth: WHAT

 

Ike: WHAT

 

Robin: I think they're going to kill me.

 

Roy: Yeah, I can hear Marth cussing in Japanese.

 

Chrom: Ike's sharping Ragnell.

 

Robin: Oh dear.

 

Corrin: They're heading towards your room, bro.

 

Robin: Fuck.

 

**Robin has left the chat**

 

Marth: OMG HE'S GONE

 

Ike: He used Elwind out the window.

 

Marth: FUCCKKKK

 

Lucina: What the hell

 

Lucina: I went to go get food for 5 minutes

 

Lucina: And Marth's cussing.

 

Roy: Scroll up.

 

Lucina: Robin's such a dick.

 

Corrin: Tell us something we don't know.


	4. Chat 4 and Master Hand loses his phone.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pikachu: Pika!
> 
> Pichu: PI
> 
> Charizard: C H A R
> 
>  
> 
> Mewtwo: You do know you can talk like normal human beings on here, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh  
> There's a new tag i probably should've added at the start-
> 
> Everyone here is a human. (The people who look mostly like humans stay as human-looking things. Eg: Link, the angel duo, villager, etc.)
> 
> Master Core is kinda odd, since he's human, but retains his forms?  
> I dunno how to explain this
> 
> He can kind of...form into a blob of sorts? Like his sphere form in Sm4sh.  
> It can phase through floors, i guess-
> 
> I won't go into detail about the rest of his forms, but Master Fortress exists outside of the smash mansion, which is why he threatened to throw Pit in there.
> 
> Alright, on with the story.

Lucario: Hello

 

Pikachu: Pika!

 

Pichu: PI

 

Charizard: C H A R

 

Mewtwo: You do know you can talk like normal human beings on here, right?

 

Lucario: Their brains are smaller than your heart.

 

Mewtwo: Harsh.

 

Pikachu: oh hes right

 

Pichu: PI

 

Mewtwo: UGH

 

Mewtwo: PICHU SAY SOMETHING OTHER THAN PI

 

Pichu: PICHU

 

Mewtwo: Thank god Master Core made me a mod.

 

**Mewtwo has muted Pichu**

 

**Mewtwo has changed Pichu's name to Idiot**

 

Pikachu: mewtwo

 

Mewtwo: What?

 

Pikachu: since when were you a mod

 

Mewtwo: It's a long story.

 

\------

**Private Chat**

 

Master Core: Uh, Crazy.

 

Crazy Hand: What?

 

Master Core: Master Hand lost his phone.

 

Crazy Hand: I'll be there.

\-----

Master Core sighed to himself as he set down his phone.  
_Why the hell are my brothers so stupid?_ he thought to himself, irritated with being the only one to have any form of common sense.

Core turned into his sphere form, sinking through the ground.  
He landed on top of a giant, speeding hand, with Crazy on top of it.  
**"JESUS FUCK-"** his brother yelled, almost falling off of the hand.

Core transformed back, his eyes regarding Crazy with a bit of distaste.  
"I thought you were used to this by now," he said. Crazy shook his head.  
"I'll never get used to that," he muttered, getting his breathing under control.  
"Whatever," Core dismissed the conversation with a wave of his hand. "I have Master's phone in my pocket."  
"Why the fuck do you have it?"  
"Because I do."

\-----

The two walked into Master's office, Core casually flipping his phone in his left hand.  
"We have your phone," he announced.  
Master Hand looked up.  
"Oh thank fuck," he said, getting out of his chair and walking towards it.  
He took his phone back, and Core quickly excused himself, phasing through the floor in his sphere form again. There was a faint scream of terror below them, and Core hastily apologizing.  
Master Hand shook his head, and looked down at his phone.

The screen was _cracked._  
"CORE!"

\----

**Private Chat**

Master Core: How's your phone doing?

 

Master Hand: I fucking hate you.

 

Master Core: I found it like that.

 

Master Hand: Crazy, did he find it like that?

 

Crazy Hand: Er

 

Master Hand: CRAZY

 

**Crazy Hand has left the chat**

 

Master Core: I broke it.

 

Master Hand: I fucking knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My thing is glitching out.
> 
> Ugh, why Jesus.


	5. Chat 5 and Ridley.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ridley: Texting on this tiny ass screen is hard.
> 
>  
> 
> Dark Samus: Deal with it.
> 
>  
> 
> Ridley: Nah, i'm getting a Mac Book.
> 
>  
> 
> Dark Samus: What the hell is that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fixed the glitch, thank god.

**Public Chat**

Ridley: This chat is so weird.

 

Bowser: Tell me something I don't know.

 

Ridley: That you're a dumbass, and your ass is bigger than your brain.

 

Ridley: But your ass is tiny.

 

Bowser: You little shit.

 

Ridley: Thank you.

 

Ridley: Now you can see yourself out.

 

**Bowser has left the chat**

 

Ridley: Hah.

 

\----

**Metroid chat**

 

Ridley: Samus.

 

Samus: What the fuck do you want, dipshit?

 

Ridley: Asshole.

 

Dark Samus: I'm getting myself a shot.

 

Ridley: It's 11:00am.

 

Dark Samus: I do what I want.

 

Ridley: So.

 

Ridley: Why did you invite me in?

 

Samus: Master Hand want's us to sort out our differences.

 

Samus: Which isn't happening.

 

Ridley: Yeah, I know.

 

Samus: Brb, i'm making sure Kirby isn't in the beer storage.

 

Samus: Oh, he is.

 

Ridley: I feel so lonely.

 

Dark Samus: I'm back.

 

Dark Samus: I took 5 shots, and i'm not drunk. Should I be concerned?

 

Ridley: Hell no.

 

Dark Samus: Okay.

 

Ridley: Ugh, typing on this tiny ass screen is hard.

 

Dark Samus: Deal with it.

 

Ridley: No, i'm getting myself a Mac Book.

 

Dark Samus: What the fuck is that?

 

Ridley: You wouldn't understand.

 

Samus: Kirby got into the beer storage.

 

Samus: I need to tell Crazy Hand.

 

Ridley: He's going to be pissed.

 

Samus: I know, and that's why i'm emailing him.

 

Ridley: He's still going to be pissed.

 

Samus: I know.

 

Samus: But I have a less likely chance of dying.

 

Ridley: Press F to pay respects.

 

Dark Samus: F

 

Samus: What the shit, guys.

 

Dark Samus: I won't be at your funeral.

 

Ridley: I won't be either.

 

Samus: Fuck you guys.


	6. Chat 6 and someone took Falco's prey.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falco: Someone took my fucking chicken.
> 
>  
> 
> Fox: Don't say it.
> 
>  
> 
> Falco: Who ever has it...
> 
>  
> 
> Fox: No.
> 
>  
> 
> Falco: HANDS OFF MY PREY

**Public Chat**

 

Falco: wHERE'S MEWTWO

 

Lucario: He's trying to get Greninja to get off the wall.

 

Lucario: I'm on the scene right now.

 

Falco: Someone did something.

 

Falco: And i'm pissed.

 

Lucario: I'll take his phone, hold on.

 

Mewtwo: Okay, I got his phone.

 

Mewtwo: Shit, he noticed.

 

Mewtwo: Anyways, what do you need?

 

Falco: Broadcast to the mansion that someone took my food.

 

Mewtwo: What the shit.

 

Mewtwo: Shouldn't you ask the trio to do that?

 

Falco: Who?

 

Mewtwo: Master Hand, Core, and Crazy Hand.

 

Falco: I tried to kill Core when he gave me a heart attack 2 days ago.

 

Falco: So the Hands hate me for trying to murder their little brother.

 

Mewtwo: Oh, okay.

 

Mewtwo: He can't do that.

 

Falco: Why the fuck not?

 

Mewtwo: I dunno. He can change names though.

 

**Mewtwo has changed Falco's name to Dipshit**

 

Mewtwo: Much better.

 

Dipshit: Change it the fuck back.

 

Mewtwo: No.

 

Mewtwo: Shit, Mewtwo found me.

 

Mewtwo: Bye

 

**Mewtwo has left the chat**

 

Dipshit: Awh.

 

**Dipshit has added Master Core**

 

Dipshit: Heyyy

 

Master Core: What the fuck do you want? I'm trying to get paperwork done before Master Hand murders me.

 

Dipshit: Can you change my name?

 

Master Core: Okay.

 

**Master Core has changed Dipshit's name to Bird Fucker**

 

Master Core: There.

 

Bird Fucker: WHat the hell.

 

Bird Fucker: What are you? 16?

 

Master Core: Yep.

 

Bird Fucker: Change it to Falco.

 

Master Core: Fine.

 

**Master Core has changed Bird Fucker's name to Falco**

 

Master Core: Now fuck off.

 

**Master Core has left the chat**

 

Falco: Ugh.

 

Fox: What the hell is going on

 

Falco: Scroll up.

 

Fox: Hah

 

Falco: Shut up.

 

Fox: Seriously, what's up.

 

Falco: Someone took my chicken.

 

Fox: Don't say it.

 

Falco: Who ever has it...

 

Fox: No.

 

Falco: HANDS OFF MY PREY

 

Fox: Didn't you eat it?

 

Falco: Sorry, what?

 

Fox: I saw you eating it 3 hours ago.

 

Falco: Now that you say that, I remember....

 

Fox: You're such a dumbass sometimes. I should get Master Core or Mewtwo to switch your name to Dumbass.

 

Falco: Please no. Master Core changed my name to Bird Fucker.

 

Fox: I took a screen shot of that.

 

Falco: WHAT

 

Fox: And now i'm sending it to everyone.

 

Falco: FOX I FUCKING HATE YOU

 

Fox: I love me too.


	7. The thing that needs to be adressed (7)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falco: Did you guys know Core's sixteen?
> 
>  
> 
> Mario: Wtf
> 
>  
> 
> Mario: And he's one of our co hosts.
> 
>  
> 
> Falco: That makes me wonder how old Master and Crazy hand are.
> 
>  
> 
> Link: Probably 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a follow up to the previous chat.

**Public Chat**

 

Falco: Hey losers

 

Falco: Did you know Core's 16

 

Mario: Wtf

 

Mario: And he's one of our co hosts.

 

Falco: Makes me wonder how old Master and Crazy are.

 

Link: Probably 24

 

Snake: Why are we talking about this.

 

Snake: Core can just pop in at any moment

 

**Master Core has entered the chat**

 

Master Core: What

 

Master Core: The Fuck

 

Master Core: Are you doing.

 

Snake: Um

 

Falco: Well

 

Mario: Er

 

Link: We're discussing your age.

 

Master Core: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THAT

 

Master Core: That's it

 

**Master Core has changed everyones name to Dumbasses**

 

Dumbasses: Why

 

Master Core: Who's saying that?

 

Dumbasses: Snake.

 

Master Core: Because your are all dumbasses.

 

Master Core: Don't discuss my age.

 

**Master Core has added Master Hand and CrazyAss**

 

Master Hand: Core, wtf

 

Master Core: Scroll up.

 

CrazyAss: I'M NOT 24

 

CrazyAss: I'm 25

 

Master Hand: Oh my fucking god.

 

Dumbasses: Why did you invite everyone in here

 

Master Hand: Who is this?

 

Dumbasses: Link.

 

**Master Core has added 70 others**

 

**Master Core has changed everyones names to Dickheads**

 

Dickheads: WHAT THE FUCK CORE

 

Master Core: Right, I changed Master and Crazy's name too.

 

**Master Core has reset the moderators names to default**

 

Mewtwo: Does someone care to explain?

 

Master Hand: Scroll up

 

Mewtwo: What the shit.

 

Master Core: For your information.

 

Master Core: I'm 15, going on 16 in a week.

 

Master Core: My brothers are both 25

 

Master Core: Master Hand is 3 minutes older.

 

Master Hand: Core, why would you say that

 

Master Core: Because everyone in here is really fucking stupid.

 

Dickheads: Change our names back.

 

Master Core: That's up to Mewtwo.

 

**Master Core, Master Hand and CrazyAss have all left the server**

 

Dickheads: Mewtwo?

 

Mewtwo: Who's this?

 

Dickheads: Lucario.

 

Mewtwo: No.


	8. The fallout of the previous chat (filler)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Core put his hands to his face. "That fucking sucked," he groaned into them
> 
> Crazy nodded. "Yeah. Especially because you changed our names to Dickheads."
> 
> "I'm in trouble for that, aren't I?"
> 
> Master squinted at him. "What do you think?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some good (or bad) old filler.

"We need to talk."

Master Hand sat at his desk, his head resting on his hands. In front of him, Core was awkwardly looking at his feet, wringing his hands together.  
Beside Core was Crazy, who's disheveled hair looked more...well, disheveled than normal.

"Care to explain what the hell just happened, brother?" Master said, his voice oddly calm.

Core groaned, putting his face into his hands. "That fucking sucked."

Crazy nodded. "Yeah, especially the part where you changed our names to 'Dickheads.'"

The teenager looked up at Master. "I'm so in trouble for this, aren't I?"

Master squinted at him. "What do you think?" he asked.

"No?" Core said hopefully.

"Are you fucking _stupid?_ "

"Quite possibly," Core retorted.

"This is going nowhere. Crazy, don't call our brother stupid."

"But he is," Crazy pointed out. That earned him a punch in the face from Core.

"Shut the fuck up," he growled.

Master threw his hands in the air. "Okay! We have a great relationship with each other, where we call our brothers stupid, and punch them in the face."

Core frowned at him. "Don't tell me your suggesting we go out together somewhere."

"That's exactly what i'm saying."

" _Fuck no!_ " Crazy and Core yelled at the same time.

"Fuck yes," Master corrected them, magically spawning suitcases.

"Oh no, we're NOT going on vacation. This place will fall apart without us," Crazy protested.

"For once in my life, I agree with Crazy. The people in this place will murder each other," Core interjected.

Master shrugged. "If we come back, and we find half of the smashers dead, it's not our problem," he said, sweeping Core off of the seat he was sitting on, and thrust a suitcase into his hands.

"I fucking hate you," he growled, grabbing the suitcase.

Master hugged his younger brother. "I love you too," he said.

"Can we just go?" Crazy asked. He was already standing by the door with his own suitcase.

Master released Core from the hug, and nodded. "Let's get going."

And after they walked out the front doors, (Core had to be dragged out) chaos wouldn't erupt.

At least for an hour...


	9. Chaos (8)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richter: Does anyone know where the Trio is?
> 
> Joker: Who?
> 
> Richter: Core, Master and Crazy.
> 
> Joker: They emailed me 1 hour ago.
> 
> Joker: They're on vacation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Joker is the only one who knows where the trio went, and decides to tell the chat.
> 
> Chaos ensues.

**Public Chat**

Richter: Hey.

 

Joker: Congratulations. You know how to use the chat.

 

Joker: Do you want a medal?

 

Greninja: What the fuck, you don't have any medals.

 

Joker: I do.

 

Joker: They're invisible.

 

Greninja: Shut your trap.

 

Joker: No can do, sir.

 

Greninja: Has anyone noticed something?

 

Richter: Yeah.

 

Richter: Does anyone know where the Trio is?

 

Joker: Who?

 

Richter: Core, Master and Crazy.

 

Joker: They sent me an email one hour ago.

 

Joker: They're on vacation.

 

Greninja: Bitch, what

 

Greninja: There's going to be chaos.

 

Richter: I think it's already happening.

 

Joker: How so?

 

Richter: All the food is gone.

 

Richter: Core watches the food.

 

Richter: So we're out of food for like

 

Richter: A week.

 

Joker: Shit.

 

Greninja: Anyone want to accompany me to Smashville?

 

Joker: Gladly.

 

Richter: Yep.

\-----

**Later**

 

Greninja: WE HAVE A PROBLEM

 

Joker: Seriously? We _just_ got food.

Richter: Dedede is horrifying when it comes to food.

 

Joker: No shit, Sherlock.

 

Greninja: I'm not going back out.

 

Greninja: I'll just sit in my room and fucking meditate

 

Greninja: OMFG LUCARIO NOT NOW

 

Joker: Is

 

Joker: You know

 

Richter: No

 

Richter: Oh shit

 

Joker: What?

 

Richter: Uhm

 

Richter: I'm not going to say

 

Joker: Oh good Jesus.


	10. Snake's guide on how to hack into private chats (9)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Samus: So as I was saying
> 
>  
> 
> Snake: Sup bitches
> 
>  
> 
> Ridley: hOW THE ACTUAL FUCK DID YOU GET IN
> 
>  
> 
> Snake: Skills.

**Public Chat**

Snake: I'm so fucking bored.

 

Snake: Nobody's even on.

 

Snake: Wait.

 

\-----

**Private Chat**

 

Samus: So uh

 

Samus: Does anyone know where the Trio went?

 

Ridley: Beats me.

 

Dark Samus: I hope they went to hell.

 

Ridley: Bitch, that's dark.

 

Samus: As I was saying

 

Snake: Hey bitches.

 

Ridley: hOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN

 

Snake: Skills

 

**Ridley has changed Snake's name to GEt THE FUCK OUT**

 

GEt THE FUCK OUT: Asshole.

 

Ridley: This is a Metriod chat,

 

Ridley: Last time I checked, you were _not_ in Metroid.

 

GEt THE FUCK OUT: Last time I checked, you were always an asshole.

 

Samus: Burn.

 

**Ridley has changed Samus' name to Smashus**

 

Smashus: I like it.

 

Ridley: Fuck this server.

 

GEt THE FUCK OUT: Hahahahaha, nailed it

 

**Dark Samus has banned GEt THE FUCK OUT**

 

Ridley: Where the shit were you?

 

Dark Samus: Drinking.

 

\-----

 

**Private Chat**

 

**Marth has renamed the server Fire Memblem**

 

Marth: There we go.

 

Ike: What the shit.

 

Robin: Am I still welcome here?

 

Marth: Sure.

 

Marth: No promises I won't kill you in your sleep though.

 

Snake: Marth, that's harsh.

 

Robin: WTF

 

Ike: Why the fuck are you here

 

Snake: I hacked in.

 

Corrin: Who's not online?

 

Marth: Roy.

 

**Corrin has changed Snake's name to Roy**

 

Corrin: Better.

 

**Robin has changed Corrin's name to Corn**

 

Corn: Fuck you bird.

 

Roy: Hi guys!

 

Roy: Oh, he's online.

 

Chrom: Why the fuck are there two roys

 

Lucina: Scroll up.

 

Roy: WHAT THERE'S ANOTHER ONE OF ME

 

Roy: BEGONE FAKE ROY

 

**Roy has banned Roy**

 

Marth: Roy, you just banned yourself.

 

Roy: WHo the fuck was that

 

Corn: Snake.

 

Roy: Who changed his name to Roy?

 

Robin: Scroll up.

 

Roy: CORRIN YOU DICK.

 

\-----

 

**Public Chat**

 

Snake: Does anyone want to hack?

 

Snake: Hello?

 

Peach: I've heard that you've been hacking.

 

Snake: Oh shit.

 

Peach: I'm coming for you ;)

 

Snake: Oh s h i t.


	11. Gun chat (10)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: So, who here has a gun?
> 
>  
> 
> Falco: I do.
> 
>  
> 
> Joker: I mean an actual gun.
> 
>  
> 
> Falco: I do.
> 
>  
> 
> Joker: Your gun's a joke, Bird Brain.

**Private Chat**

 

**Joker has renamed the chat to Gun Guys**

 

Zero Suit: Bitch, i'm a woman.

 

Joker: Your things got nerfed, so now you're a guy.

 

Zero Suit: ;(

 

Joker: So, who has a gun?

 

Falco: I do.

 

Joker: I mean a _real_ gun.

 

Falco: I do.

 

Joker: Your gun is a joke, Bird Brain.

 

Falco: It makes people flinch.

 

Joker: I mean a gun with real bullets, smartass.

 

Falco: Snake might.

 

Joker: That bitch was the focus of last chapter.

 

Fox: What?

 

Joker: RIP the fourth wall.

 

Falco: Wtf dude.

 

Joker: UmU

 

Zero Suit: ?????

 

Fox: Joker, you can actually kill people.

 

Joker: I know.

 

Joker: But I don't care.

 

Fox: What a rebel.

 

Joker: That sounds like something Lucas would say.

 

Joker: Speaking of Lucas, where has he and Ness been all these chapters?

 

Falco: W h a t 

 

Fox: Just stop breaking...uh

 

Fox: The fourth wall

 

Joker: Congrats, you're learning.

 

Zero Suit: This has went to Joker asking about our guns to talking about a wall.

 

**Joker has renamed the chat to The Fourth Wall**

 

Joker: scOrE

 

Fox: Wait

 

Fox: Joker, where are you

 

Joker: In the wine storage.

 

**Fox has left the chat**

 

Joker: Lmao

 

Falco: Wtf did you do

 

Joker: I'm in my room.

 

Joker: What a dumbass.

 

**Fox has joined the chat**

 

Fox: You little bitch.

 

**Joker has changed Fox's name to You're a tiny bitch**

 

You're a tiny bitch: Joker.

 

Joker: Yo.

 

You're a little bitch: I'm going to murder you.

 

Joker: No u

 

You're a little bitch: Fuck you.


	12. Getting revenge on Joker (11)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonic: hey, guys.
> 
>  
> 
> Sonic: i think its time we get revenge on Joker.
> 
>  
> 
> Joker: I'm right here.
> 
>  
> 
> Joker: I'll get my boyfriend to come do shit.
> 
>  
> 
> Sonic: youre gay?
> 
>  
> 
> Joker: MotherFucker, what did you think I was?
> 
>  
> 
> Sonic: Trans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Joker.
> 
> Nice knowing you.
> 
> Even though his boyfriend (won't say who) doesn't appear, i'll still tag is as a relationship.

**Public Chat**

Sonic: yo

 

Lucas: hello

 

Ness: Okey

 

Lucas: Ugh

 

Lucas: he's been saying that for the past 2 weeks.

 

Sonic: hey, guys.

 

Sonic: we should get revenge against Joker.

 

Joker: I'm here, you know.

 

Joker: I'll get my boyfriend to come do some shit.

 

Sonic: youre gay?

 

Joker: MotherFucker, what did you think i was?

 

Sonic: Trans.

 

Joker: **You bitch.**

 

Sonic: *sweats*

 

Joker: You better be sweating.

 

Lucas: who's your bf?

 

Joker: He's from my world.

 

Joker: His name is

 

Joker: Uh

 

Lucas: you good?

 

Joker: His name's Sakamoto Ryuji.

 

Joker: Or just Ryuji.

 

Lucas: is that his real name, or

 

Joker: Yes, that's his real name.

 

Lucas: what's your real name then?

 

Joker: Kurusu Akira.

 

Joker: But call me Akira.

 

Joker: I'm joking.

 

Joker: You better call me Joker.

 

Ness: I took a screen shot of your real name.

 

Joker: WHAT

 

Ness: I'm sending it to everyone.

 

Lucas: holy fuck he said something other than okey.

 

Lucas: congrats akira

 

Joker: Fuck my life.

 

Sonic: im not sweating anymore

 

Joker: Ugh

 

Joker: Fuck you all.

 

**Joker has left the server**

 

Sonic: send it to mewtwo

 

Sonic: so he can add him back and change his name

 

Ness: DOne.

 

Ness: *done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This poor kid.
> 
>  
> 
> I haven't even poked Persona 5, so that's why i'm not adding Ryuji in this, but i'll still tag their relationship as the first one.
> 
> Ugh, I really need to play that game. It seems so good.


	13. When Ganon enters a chat with Link in it. (12)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ganondorf: Is Link in here?
> 
>  
> 
> Zelda: I believe so. Why?
> 
>  
> 
> Link: GANON YOU ASS
> 
>  
> 
> Ganondorf: That's why.

**Public Chat**

 

Link: I'm so tired.

 

Link: Zelda

 

Zelda: Mhm?

 

Link: I'm going to bed.

 

Zelda: It's 4 in the afternoon.

 

Link: I don't fucking care.

 

Zelda: Wow.

 

Ganondorf: Hey, Zelda.

 

Zelda: Hi Ganon.

 

Ganondorf: Is Link in here?

 

Zelda: I think so. Why?

 

Link: Hi, i'm not tired.

 

Link: GANON YOU ASS

 

Ganon: That's why.

 

Zelda: Oh.

 

Zelda: Makes sense.

 

Link: wHY THE SHIT IS HE IN HERE

 

Zelda: It's a free country, Link.

 

Zelda: He can go wherever he wants.

 

Link: Not in THIS CHAT

 

Ganondorf: _Get your little boyfriend bitch under control, Zelda._

__

__Zelda: He's dead serious._ _

__

__Zelda: He used Italics._ _

__

__Link: Wtf are those?_ _

__

__Zelda: You're too old to know that._ _

__

__Ganondorf: I'll just take my exit, stage left._ _

__

__**Ganondorf has left the chat.** _ _

__**** _ _

__****Link: Why can't Core make me a mod?** ** _ _

__**** _ _

__****Zelda: He has his reasons.** ** _ _

__**** _ _

__****Link: Kill me.** ** _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a mistake at the end. Sorry!


	14. We're back! (13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Core: Lemme guess.
> 
>  
> 
> Core: Chaos?
> 
>  
> 
> Mewtwo: Well, if you count Snake hacking into chats, King Dedede eating all the food, and Ridley attempting to eat Pichu alive, what do you think?
> 
>  
> 
> Core: I knew us going on vacation was a horrible idea.

**Public Chat**

 

Mewtwo: This week has fucking sucked.

 

**Master Core has joined the chat**

 

Master Core: I'm back from my terrible vacation.

 

Mewtwo: Welcome back.

 

Mewtwo: Don't mind if I do this shit.

 

**Mewtwo has changed Master Core's name to Core**

 

Core: Oh, thanks.

 

Core: I'll just cut to the chase.

 

Mewtwo: Alright.

 

Core: Lemme guess.

 

Core: Chaos.

 

Mewtwo: Well, if you count Snake hacking into chats, King Dedede eating all the food, and Ridley attempting to eat Pichu alive, what do you think?

 

Core: I knew us going on vacation was a horrible idea.

 

Mewtwo: No shit, Sherlock.

 

Core: Bitch, you giving me lip?

 

Mewtwo: Maybe.

 

Core: Don't make me take your mod away.

 

Mewtwo: Please no.

 

Core: Good.

 

Core: Give me a second, i'm taking a screen shot of this.

 

Mewtwo: Alright.

 

Core: Don't fucking type

 

Mewtwo:

 

Core: Bitch, what did I say

 

Core: Alright, I did it.

 

Mewtwo: Finally.

 

Core: Should I make someone else a mod on here?

 

Core: In case you're dead or i'm away.

 

Mewtwo: That was a morbid example.

 

Mewtwo: I say Lucario. He's honest enough.

 

Core: Okay

 

Core: When he's in the server, let me know.

 

Core: Via email

 

Core: Not private messaging.

 

Mewtwo: OKay.

 

Mewtwo: *okay

 

Core: By the way...

 

Core: What was that about Snake hacking into private chats?


	15. Some type of announcement (14)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bayonetta: I have an announcement to make.
> 
>  
> 
> Pikachu: well
> 
>  
> 
> Pikachu: what is it
> 
>  
> 
> Bayonetta: I like mayo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bayonetta really likes her Mayo.

**Public Chat**

 

Bayonetta: Hi mates.

 

Pikachu: its just me in here.

 

Pikachu: and maybe YK, i dunno.

 

Bayonetta: Who?

 

Pikachu: Young Link

 

Bayonetta: Oh.

 

Young Link: ...

 

Pikachu: he doesnt know how to use the chat.

 

Pikachu: or he's mute.

 

Bayonetta: Anyways

 

Bayonetta: I have an announcement to make.

 

Pikachu: what is it

 

Pikachu: pls tell

 

Bayonetta: I like mayo.

 

Pikachu: what the fuck, that was random.

 

Pikachu: is there a mod in here

 

Young Link: me.

 

Pikachu: ????

 

**Young Link has changed Bayonetta's name to Mayonetta**

 

Young Link: much better, right

 

Pikachu: if she comes in the middle of the night to put a bullet in you, don't come screaming to me.

 

Mayonetta: You're a mod?

 

Young Link: mewtwo gave me mod controls

 

Pikachu: youre a kid tho.

 

Pikachu: pls dont abuse them

 

Young Link: k

 

**Young Link has changed Pikachu's name to Pikashit**

 

**Young Link changed their name to God**

 

God: bow to me

 

Pikashit: wtf have i dragged myself into.


	16. You'll never see it coming (15)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: I have my dagger in my right hand, and my gun in my left.
> 
>  
> 
> Joker: You're aloud to pick your method of death.
> 
>  
> 
> Dedede: all i did was steal some food.
> 
>  
> 
> Joker: THat's a horrible crime.

**Public Chat**

Joker: DEDEDE

 

Joker: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

 

Dedede: what did i do

 

Joker: Hold on a moment.

 

Dedede: why are you at my door?

 

Joker: In my right hand, I have my dagger. In my left, I have my gun.

 

Joker: You're aloud to pick your method of death

 

Dedede: all I did was steal some food.

 

Joker: THat's a horrible crime.

 

Dedede: ?????

 

Dedede: it is?

 

Joker: Does this have to do with you not being a true villain anymore?

 

Dedede: the shit?

 

Joker: Don't play stupid with me.

 

Dedede: i helped kirby like once.

 

Joker: VILLAINS DON'T HELP HERO'S, DIPSHIT.

 

Dedede: im confused.

 

Joker: Fucking pick your method of death already.

 

Dedede: er

 

Dedede: old age?

 

Joker: Bitch, you'll never look a day over 40.

 

Dedede: thanks.

 

Joker: Forty year old's in your world probably look ugly as shit.

 

Joker: The one's in my world are hot.

 

Dedede: :(

 

Joker: Seriously though.

 

Joker: Where's the food?

 

Dedede: in my closest.

 

Joker: Ew.

 

Joker: Nevermind, keep your shitty food.


	17. 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link: Hey, did the new comers get added?
> 
> Ike: Who?
> 
> Marth: I think he's referring to Hero number 1, 2, 3 and 4.
> 
> Link: Er
> 
> Link: I had no idea there were 4 of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really, really, REALLY sorry about not updating since...
> 
> ...June?
> 
> Oh hell, it's that bad.

**Public Chat**

 

Link: So, guys.

 

Link: Is anyone even in here?

 

Marth: I am.

 

Ike: Me.

 

Roy: FIRST

 

Roy: Aw man.

 

Marth: Don't you dare say creeper.

 

Link: aw man.

 

Ike: Aw man.

 

Roy: Aw man.

 

Marth: I fell into that one.

 

Link: Have the newcomers been added?

 

Ike: Who?

 

Marth: He means Hero 1, 2, 3, 4.

 

Link: Er

 

Link: I didn't know there were 4.

 

Ike: Neither did I.

 

Marth: Idiots.

 

Roy: I can add them.

 

Marth: No

 

Marth: They don't know how to use phones.

 

Roy: Oh.

 

Marth: My match is coming up. I'll see you later, creepers

 

Marth: *creeps

 

Link: Aw man

 

Ike: Aw man

 

Roy: Aw man.

 

Marth: I'm surrounded by dumbasses.


	18. Spots out water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Core: I just spit out my tea, holy shit.
> 
>  
> 
> Master Hand: Uhhhhhhh
> 
>  
> 
> Core: Nono, we have Sonic wearing an ugly Christmas sweater, and he's binge watching RWBY with everyone but the Halberd trio and Mewtwo.
> 
>  
> 
> Crazy: huh. im surprised 
> 
>  
> 
> Master Hand: Are we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the trio strikes back
> 
> That wasn't a lie I swear

**We the Trio**

 

Core: Eh?

 

Crazy: like it

 

Master Hand: No.

 

Core: Seriously?

 

Crazy: ;(

 

Core: So I'm sitting in the common room and hear a crash.

 

Master Hand: Ok.

 

Core: I get off my ass and check it out. Which I'm doing right now.

 

Master Hand: Ok...

 

Core: Drumroll please.

 

Crazy: dadadadadadada

 

Core: Dumbass, that's not a drum.

 

Master Hand: Go in 

 

Core: Okay, sheeze.

 

Core: Holy shit

 

Master Hand: What?

 

Core: I just spit out my tea, holy shit.

 

Master Hand: Uhhhhhhh...

 

Core: Nono, Sonic's wearing a ugly Christmas sweater and binge watching RWBY with everyone but the Halberd Trio and Mewtwo.

 

Crazy: huh. im surprised 

 

Master Hand: Are we?

 

Core: Not really, honestly.

 

Core: They haven't noticed me yet, so that's good.

 

Core: What the fuck is going on screen...

 

Core: Ok, I'm diffusing this holy shit.

 

Master Hand: What's going on?

 

Core: There's a man with Silver hair in the TV screen and everyone is screaming.

 

Core: Except Joker, but he's yelling at the man to get the fuck out.

 

Crazy: huh

 

Master Hand: My god, has Persona 4 invaded us

 

Core: Then who the fuck is in the screen.

 

Master Hand: Does it sound like I know

 

Core: Yea.

 

Crazy: mood

 

Master Hand:

 

Master Hand: Core, did you teach him that

 

Core: Skskskskjkk I don't know what you're talking about.

 

Master Hand: Core.

 

Core: I actually don't know.

 

Crazy: Skskskskjkk 

 

Master Hand: Core.

 

Core: 

 

Core: The man left the TV screen

 

Master Hand: And you're about to leave this realm.

 

Core: OwO 

 

Master Hand: ???

 

Crazy: UwU

 

Master Hand: Oh fuck.


	19. When you beat WOL, and you're suddenly interested in the two main villains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud: ok, can anyone explain what the actual fuck are these two doing here
> 
>  
> 
> Sheik: Who?
> 
>  
> 
> Cloud: thats your cue, you know
> 
>  
> 
> Dharkon: Oh shit, it is?
> 
>  
> 
> Galeem: I told you that multiple times dammit.
> 
>  
> 
> Master Hand: I can explain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after that comment on i needed to add more characters, I've decided to try and do that 
> 
>  
> 
> And no, G & D don't count
> 
>  
> 
> So I put Cloud, Sheik, and uh
> 
>  
> 
> Maybe Villager

**We are gay disasters *trumpets***

Cloud: why is our group chat name still this?

 

Cloud: nobodys officially gay.

 

Sheik: Akira is

 

Cloud: he doesn't count, we all knew he was gay when he walked through the doors.

 

Sheik: Point taken

 

Cloud: is it just us today?

 

Villager: nono im here

 

Cloud: shit, that sucks.

 

Villager: hey dude

 

Sheik: Uhhh, why do I see two people ghosting the chat

 

Cloud: right I forgot.

 

Cloud: i wanted to see if you guys knew anything.

 

Villager: ok shoot

 

Cloud: what the actual fuck are these two doing here.

 

Sheik: Who 

 

Cloud: that was your cue, you know.

 

Dharkon: Oh shit, it was?

 

Galeem: I've told you that multiple times, my god.

 

Master Hand: I can explain.

 

Villager: you better

 

Master Hand: Ok, so Little Mac and Ken showed up on my doorstep the other day. And they told me that they had put Galeem and Dharkon in a potato sack.

 

Cloud: did it still have potatos?

 

Master Hand: No, you dumb shit.

 

Cloud: shit.

 

Master Hand: I was tired as hell because the night before that morning, we threw a big ass party and I got drunk. So did all the kids that attended.

 

Villager: this sounds like a familiar welcome party last year

 

Master Hand: Shhhhhhh.

 

Sheik: What party?

 

Master Hand: Good job Thomas. You screwed me over.

 

Villager: youre welcome 

 

Cloud: so why did I wake up this morning, walk into the dining hall, and see Galeem half asleep and Dharkon half awake?

 

Sheik: Thats the same thing...

 

Cloud: you know I didn't get an education stfu.

 

Master Hand: I released them from the potato sack.

 

Red: wtf aren't they basically pokemon tho

 

Villager: where did you come from

 

Master Hand: They're humans Red.

 

Red: oh my bad

 

Red: ok cya

 

Sheik:

 

Cloud: what

 

Master Hand: Anyways, you can just ignore them.

 

Dharkon: Really dude?

 

Galeem: Dharkon, shut your mouth. You're making me lose braincells.

 

Dharkon: YOU shut it.

 

Galeem: No, YOU SHUT IT.

 

Dharkon: Uno reverse card.

 

Galeem: OH NO YOU DON'T.

 

Dharkon: Uno pick up 4 card.

 

Galeem: YOU know what.

 

Galeem: Meet vs you, Final Destination, Jigglypuff only, no items.

 

Dharkon: Uno block card.

 

Galeem: Fuck.

 

Cloud: i look up to talk with Bowser and I come back to this 

 

Sheik: Welcome to Smash.


	20. I heard you like heavy metal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dharkon: Guys. You have not lived life until you've listened to Slipknot.
> 
>  
> 
> Roy: this shit again
> 
>  
> 
> Dharkon: Roy, shut up, it's good music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I'm a sucker for slipknot

**Uno**

 

Ryu: Ok, that's so much better than the gay one.

 

Ludwig: I thought you were gay for Ken.

 

Roy: i second that 

 

Ryu: Oh shut up.

 

Wendy: Are we discussing our sex type?????

 

Larry: when you say it like that, I get concerned.

 

Iggy: Seconded.

 

Lemmy: thirded 

 

Larry: lemmy that isn't a word...

Lemmy: granted i dont think seconded is a word either

 

Morton: MORTON CONFUSED 

 

Iggy: Oh good God, the dumbass has arrived.

 

Wendy: Iggy!!!!!!!!

 

Iggy: I speak the truth.

 

Ryu: Anyways.....enough about dumbasses and your sex lives/type

 

Larry: Well we didn't even come in here to discuss that...

 

Ludwig: Amen.

 

Iggy: Kill me now.

 

Morton: OK!

 

Iggy; No, don't actually kill me. It's a figure of speech.

 

Larry: Press F to pray for our fallen brother.

 

Lemmy: f 

 

Ludwig: F

 

Wendy: F 

 

Iggy: I'm not dead yet guys, what the hell.

 

Roy: f 

 

Iggy: For God's sake.

 

Dharkon: You called?

 

Iggy: What, no.

 

Roy: ?????

 

Wendy: Who is that????

 

Morton: MORTON NOT KNOW

 

Dharkon: Did Master Hand seriously not tell anyone about me?

 

Iggy: Granted, we let Bowser Jr. do all the work.

 

Dharkon: Point taken.

 

Ludwig: But why are you here?

 

Dharkon: It's a free country, I can do what I want.

 

Wendy: Huh???

 

Iggy: When you grow brains, you'll understand.

 

Larry: BURRRRRRRRNNNNN 

 

Ryu: Seriously Dharkon why are you here.

 

Dharkon: Rude. But alright, I suppose I'll tell you why.

 

Dharkon: So I'm sitting here, listening to music, when Galeem comes in, takes my phone, and puts on his own playlist.

 

Ryu: Did you beat the shit out of him or?

 

Dharkon: I was about to, but the artist was so good, I had to thank the bastard.

 

Ludwig: Classical, I presume?

 

Dharkon: No, you dumb fuck.

 

Dharkon: You've not lived life until you've heard Slipknot l.

 

Roy: this shit again

 

Dharkon: Shut up Roy, it's good music.

 

Roy: i had this discussion with other roy last week

 

Larry: The less handsome one right 

 

Roy: of course

 

Wendy: Yeah, he ugly!!!!

 

Dharkon: Since Galeem has converted me, I'm converting everyone else.

 

Dharkon: If you want to meet God, go to the dining hall.

 

Morton: MORTON WILL DO THAT

 

Ludwig: Morton please no.

 

Iggy: Hey, Ryu. What's your opinion on today?

 

Ryu: What the fuck happened just now.


	21. Oh wait, you're all dating?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker: Hold the phone.
> 
>  
> 
> Jigglypuff: ok
> 
>  
> 
> Joker: If you're dating someone, say I.
> 
>  
> 
> Kirby: I
> 
>  
> 
> Ike: I 
> 
>  
> 
> Ridley: I 
> 
>  
> 
> Samus: I
> 
>  
> 
> Ridley: Oh shit, it's the hopeless lesbian.
> 
>  
> 
> Samus: Oh shit, it's dick sucker
> 
>  
> 
> Joker: Guys no.

**Uno**

Joker: Role call!

 

Ridley: How does that shit work?

 

Joker: Role call complete! Good job.

 

Samus: How 

 

Joker: I invited everyone who is potentially in a relationship to chat.

 

Kirby: guiryd Ryu hf dry 

 

Ridley: Guys, he typed Ryu's name.

 

Jigglypuff: im trying to teach him actual English 

 

Dark Pit: Aren't you two like, 5?

 

Jigglypuff: 9 years

 

Dark Pit: Same thing.

 

Lucina: No, you dumb fuck. It isn't.

 

Joker: Ok, so you two are obviously dating. Only Lucina would rebuttal her lover to keep their relationship a secret.

 

Lucina: How the hell did you figure it out?

 

Joker: When you're allied with a detective for a month, you pick up on things.

 

K. Rool: OH IS THAT THE AKECHI BASTARD YOU HAVE BEEN RANTING ABOUT

 

Peach: King K. Rool! Watch your language.

 

Joker: Yeah.

 

K. Rool: ALRIGHT

Peach: Don't encourage him!

 

Samus: We can't stop him at this point

 

Joker: Since everyone is here, I'll just ask.

 

Joker: Say I if you are dating someone.

 

Ike: I 

 

Ridley: I 

 

Samus: I 

 

Ridley: Oh shit, it's the hopeless lesbian.

 

Samus: Oh shit, it's dick sucker.

 

Joker: Guys no.

 

Marth: I believe that Kirby and Jigglypuff are dating, as are Pittoo and Lucina.

 

Dark Pit: Don't call me that, jeez.

 

Joker: Shit, there goes my throne.

 

Ike: what throne 

 

Joker: Where I was the only one in a relationship. And now, not only am I not the only person dating in here anymore, I'm also not the only gay couple in here.

 

Ike: oh 

 

Marth: Terribly sorry about that, Akira.

 

Joker: So Ness told you all.

 

Ridley: Yep.

 

Samus: Go suck reptile dick Ridley 

 

Ridley: You go suck Peach's *****.

 

Ridley: Seriously.

 

Joker: I regret asking.


End file.
